The Commuter Challenge

2 March 2014

The March 2014 Challenge

by CC @ 11:10

Write a minimum of three funny headlines for fake news stories in the style of the Onion. Do not write the full fake news stories; only submit headlines that should speak for themselves. If more explanation or further elaboration would improve the entries, sub-headlines are allowed. Accompanying photos/illustrations are also allowed but not required.

The only other constraint is that at least one of the headlines must be timely, referencing a news event current to March 2014.

The Results

Tyler Zahnke

USSR Rises To Power Because Of Ukraine Incident

Facebook Gets Bought Out By Microsoft For Googolplex Tetrated To Googolplex Dollars

Bellies Ache Across America; President Obama Blames All American Restaurants

Ryan Finholm

The Internet To Be Down For Backups 6PM-8PM EST This Friday

Bangor ROTC Student Going To UMaine and/or Ukraine

California Earthquake Hits 5.1 On Richter Scale, 28% On Rotten Tomatoes

Brian Raiter

General Motors Recalls 600,000 Cars, Citing Faulty Indemnity Clauses

Signs Of Gravitational Waves In Polarization Of Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation Prove That Cosmologists Are “Fucking Boring”

Americans Take To Twitter In Demonstration Of Support For Ukrainian Revolutionaries

1 comment

  1. Interesting that all three of us submitted both Ukraine-related and internet-related entries.

    Brian’s ‘Indemnity’ entry is so 100% perfect that it is ready to go directly into this week’s Onion.

    by RyanF — 3 April 2014 @ 08:20