SEATTLE, WA — A gathering of friends in Edmonds, WA on May 12, 2007 to observe the inaugural celebration of National Miniature Golf Day was less popular than generally expected, reports Benjamin Kauske, organizer of, and sole participant in, the event.
Kauske had been expecting between five and seventeen people, including himself, and so was surprised at the actual attendance of one, including himself.
File photo of Benjamin Kauske playing miniature golf by himself.
“I have to say that I really wasn't expecting this,” Kauske told reporters as he stood in front of the Funtasia main entrance, the designated meeting place for the event's participants. “I mean, nobody said that they were certainly going to attend, but there were enough almost-definite responses that I felt confident about planning for at least five.”
“Like I can't believe Todd [Kimble] didn't show. I asked him about it last week, and he said, ‘I'll be there for sure.’ That's a direct quote. It wasn't a promise, I realize, but it certainly seemed like a safe bet.” When asked for comment, Kimble told reporters, “Was that this Sunday? Gee.”
“In one sense, I'm not too surprised that [co-worker] Carolyn Kelso didn't come. I had the sense that this wasn't really her thing, and she wouldn't really have known anybody here except me. That is, if any of the other people had shown.” Kauske continued, “But I told her about it anyway, just after lunch on Friday, and she certainly seemed interested in the idea, and happy that I thought to invite her. So I had mentally put her down as a firm maybe.” Kelso declined to comment on the specifics of her Friday discussion with Kauske, saying only, “On Monday I'll probably tell Ben that I had a friend visiting from out of town.”
“And then there's Nancy [Reisberg] and Jeff [North],” said Kauske. “I asked them about it two weeks ago. You gotta plan things with them well in advance because they're super busy. Anyway, I made the plans originally with Jeff and he said he'd mark it on their calendar. Then I called them again last night, and spoke to Nancy, and she told me that she hadn't specifically talked to Jeff about it but that it was written on the calendar, and she said that ‘it sounds like fun’, quote unquote. She said that completely on her own. I was very intentionally not fishing for her to say anything nice during that entire phone call, so I figured I could take that as an honest opinion. Plus they're really serious about using the calendar to organize their activities, so all in all I thought they were pretty likely to show up.”
“Oh yeah, Ben's thing,” Reisberg stated, when questioned about her non-attendance. “We thought about going, but it just seemed like a lot of trouble. We spent almost all Saturday visiting Jeff's parents [in Tacoma], and that afternoon we both just wanted to relax.” North, who has been friends with Benjamin since high school, said, “Plus it was kinda cold out. It wasn't an outdoors-activity sort of day; you know what I mean?”
On the subject of the weather, Kauske noted, “Today's weather is perfect, from the standpoint of mini-golf. There's hardly a breeze to mess up your aim. And there's no rain, which is important when the course uses eternite, since eternite doesn't absorb water.” Eternite is a form of concrete popular with some designers of mini-golf courses. “Of course that's not even an issue with the Funtasia course. With our weather patterns, they wisely chose to use felt for their greens, which is good at absorbing mild amounts rainwater. Just one of the reasons why Funtasia is one of the best mini-golf courses in the greater Seattle area.”
Despite these factors, the location was the central reason George Miller cited for not attending Kauske's event. “I thought the idea was great. I mean, miniature golf is a perfect example of homogenized whitebread American culture. I was totally up for some miniature golf. Watching the old ladies playing with their grandkids up visiting for the weekend? Hell yeah. But I just couldn't get excited about driving all the way out to Edmonds. I mean come on. Why couldn't he have picked someplace in the city? I'm pretty sure there's a miniature golf course at the Seattle Center. Then maybe we could have gone drinking at the Mecca Cafe afterwards. But what the hell are you going to do in Edmonds on a Sunday?”
“The Seattle Center's so-called miniature golf course is a joke,” opined Kauske freely. “Nine holes crammed into one corner of the Fun Forest building. Absolutely no effort put into its construction or design. It's adequate enough for a toddler, or maybe someone who's never mini-golfed before. Maybe. But it was certainly never intended to be taken seriously. The Funtasia Family Fun Park, on the other hand, is a complete experience. Nine holes inside, nine holes outside. Tiki statues, a pirate ship, not one but two waterfalls—I mean you really cannot ask for a better way to participiate in the first ever National Miniature Golf Day. We should count ourselves lucky to live as close as we do to such a well-designed course.”
National Miniature Golf Day is a holiday registered in 2007 by the Adventure Landing company of Jacksonville Beach, FL, and takes place on the second Saturday of May. Adventure Landing consists of nine family entertainment centers around the United States, and hopes for National Miniature Golf Day to become a generally recognized event after being included in the 2008 edition of Chase's Calendar of Events.
“Oh yeah, Amy [Wright],” Kauske said, finishing his review of the expected guest list. “She's the exact opposite of Nancy and Jeff. You have to invite her the day of the event, or it'll invariably slip her mind. I called her up only two hours before I myself left Seattle and told her about it, and she said that it sounded like a ‘blast’. I then asked if I should plan on seeing her there, and she said, ‘I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be.’ I thought that was a pretty strong quasi-commitment. I wonder what happened?” Wright later told reporters that she had spent Sunday afternoon in a neighborhood bar drinking with friends, and had lost track of the time.
She added: “I totally meant to call Benjy back after an hour and make an excuse.”
